Tag Archives: relationships

A heart of gold…

03 Saturday Feb 2018

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It’s been like forever since I’ve posted. And not for a lack of trying, I must add. My sabbatical (January-December 2017) was nothing that I had envisaged. It was one of the busiest and most fulfilling times. Ever.

I learnt. I cried. I smiled. I sighed. I loved. I lost… but through it all, I experienced and am most thankful for His immeasurable grace upon my life.

I met some of the most amazing people and some not-so-pleasant “characters”. There are lessons I hope to never repeat. Some opened my eyes and left me gasping in utter horror (because there are some things you just don’t expect from human beings…), while others showed me what unconditional love is all about.

In all of the living and learning, there was one person who crept into my heart… almost instantly. It was one of those connections that you know, that you know, it has to be a Divine connection.

In an age where superficiality is the order of the day, it’s so refreshing to find someone who is super real. No mask. No highlight real. Just the core of what an honest, good old fashion, genuine person is all about.

Yes, these precious treasures still exist.

A caring, kind, delightful, witty person. No airs and graces, just a beautiful soul… inside and out. A heart of gold.

It’s the kind of relationship that you want to freeze just so that time can stand still as you savour the moments. Those moments that are filled with frank comments and quirks that leave you holding your sides because you can’t stop laughing. Those moments that you don’t want to end because in that time… you appreciate and cherish the authenticity of an individual like aunty Erica; a 60-something lady whose life experiences are as fascinating as the anecdotes she enjoys sharing.

A few months ago, this was a complete stranger and today, she’s someone I can’t imagine not having in my life. I always look forward to spending time with her and most of all her “Erica-isms” … given the chance she could easily give some of the best stand ups a run for their money. Her chirps are really out of this world, and she’s quick off the mark. And then there’s her vault of wisdom.

I hope you too will get to meet amazing gems like aunty Erica, and when you do, don’t let them go…

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Musings and meandering…

05 Sunday Mar 2017

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Earlier today I stumbled upon a business card I picked up while in Perth earlier this year. This was no ordinary card. It belongs to a cab driver turned tour guide for the duration of my stay.

For purposes of this post, let’s call him *Pedro. A soft spoken, unassuming gentleman in his mid-50s.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love talking so it didn’t take me long to start “interviewing” Pedro about his life. I was intrigued by his journey and how he landed up in this part of the world.

I was even more impressed by his knowledge of the city and general global topics. I kid you not, you could bring up any subject and Pedro would be able to offer an opinion, facts, figures and some sort of history. I called him a walking-talking encyclopedia.

I think the thing that struck me the most was the way he spoke about his family – wife and daughter. His face lit up when he told me about the day they met for the first time. The hopeless romantic that I am, Pedro’s story sounded like something out of a fairytale.

The pictures just screamed happiness; and when he shared anecdotes about his daughter or how he still gets to have date night with his wife, it made me realise that some people still appreciate and respect the sanctity of marriage. Hallelujah 🙂

Perth is so pretty. The hot, dry sweltering temperatures aside, it was an unforgettable experience. I would have to say the highlight was the stop at The Margaret River Chocolate Co. Every chocoholic needs to add this to their bucket list. As I stepped in, I felt like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. You are spoilt for choice. I wanted something from every shelf but the thought of traipsing half way around the world with a chocolate stash kept me in check.

I also now realise how “Packing for Perth” or “The Australian capital of South Africans in exile” came about. I bumped into quite a few South Africans who couldn’t wait to share about life Down Under.

Not only do I have some fond memories from my time in Perth, I also have a few nuggets from *Pedro. It’s stuff I’ve heard before but somehow… he was on point and because of his PHD in Life, I found myself meditating on these comments during the 17-hour flight back home. And still today.

 For instance, he stated matter-of-factly:

  • “Don’t force anything –  anyone or anything that’s meant for you will appear when the time is right.”
  • “Your authentic self will attract real people and you will never have to second guess their motives.”
  • “Keep your heart open to give and receive love, and never stop being kind.”

As I sit and type this I find myself gazing at my screen for the longest time. The realization that it’s quite liberating when you choose to let things evolve organically.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

 Stay fabulous and favoured xxx

2017 – manifest your greatness!

29 Thursday Dec 2016

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As we begin to take stock and prepare to apply a full stop to this year, I asked my brother Jarryd Kast to share some of his thoughts. I hope you will enjoy his post below as much as I did.

And from me, I hope you will always choose to rise and thrive in 2017. Be fearlessly authentic and embrace every moment life presents to you.

Thank you for taking to the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured xxx

 

From the desk of Jarryd Kast:

As I get ready to do a curtain call on what has been one of my most challenging years, I couldn’t help but take a ride down memory lane and reflect on some of the most unforgettable occurrences.

I, like so many others couldn’t be happier to see 2016 come to an end. This year has been nothing short of a rollercoaster ride, sadly with more lows than highs.

You know the saying, ‘You will be brought down to your knees’… Well, that happened to me. Literally!

Long story short, I decided to quit my job late last year (2015) and head back to the city where I was born and bred. The decision came about after months of internal deliberation. I had just had enough of the town’s laidback, country-styled living conditions. And not forgetting the residents’ backward mentality. I wasn’t prepared to live in South Africa’s pre 1994 era all over again.

I knew I had more to offer the world, so I manned up and jumped straight into the unknown.

Well, it probably wasn’t one of the wisest decisions I’ve made, because I struggled to find a job, and ended up suffering a spell of unemployment for over a year. I applied for numerous vacancies, got calls to say I was shortlisted, and pitched up for countless interviews. But for some strange reason, I just couldn’t successfully bag these jobs.

And to top it all off, my long-term relationship with my now ex-girlfriend came to an abrupt end.

Although I felt like my world was torn apart and turned upside down, deep down I knew it’s all happening for a reason. Don’t get me wrong. At the time, it felt like I was walking through hell’s corridors, but as they say – time heals.

Thankfully, that is all over, and today I’m working abroad – living, learning, surviving and thriving.

Getting back to my thoughts about the past twelve months…

I’m grateful for all the closed doors (some even slammed), for the failed relationships, and for those people who left me hanging when I needed them the most. I’m grateful for the people who we are supposed to regard as family, but who play no role whatsoever in our lives, for the folks who betrayed my trust, and for all the people who I’ve chosen to walk away from – because dang! Their toxic energy can really kill a person’s vibe.

Why am I grateful?

Because these are the people who were put into my life to teach me some of the biggest life lessons. Without their input, I wouldn’t have gained the strength, courage, boldness and wisdom I now have today.

Believe me, it isn’t easy to accept what’s happening at the time, but I’ve learnt that it is in these very moments when we let go of what’s not meant for us, that we then start to position ourselves in alignment with the blessings that God has waiting to pour down.

This year, I’ve had to say goodbye to many people in my life.

No, they didn’t physically die, but mentally they are dead to me.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve also learnt this year is cultivating your space and letting go of the toxicity which other people bring to the table. You have to surround yourself with people who share your values and ambitions. Not doing this will distract you from your goals and dreams, and lead you into thinking less of yourself. Don’t allow that to happen.

2016 also opened my eyes into seeing that the road to life can have many twisted curves. But I’ll always remain calm, because I’m continuously reassured of who’s controlling the wheel – God.

My own piece of advice I’m taking with me into the New Year:

Be wary of who you allow in your circle.

  • Protect your space. When you let the wrong people in, you may be setting yourself up for failure, and hence, you won’t be able reach the peak of your purpose.
  • Don’t attend people’s pity parties. Once you attend one, they’ll make sure your name is always on the guest list.
  • Don’t sit under people’s shade. Even if it seems like their trees have low-hanging fruit, trust me, there will be thorns on those branches.
  • Don’t become a slave to people’s mental abuse.
  • Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything or anyone that doesn’t influence you into becoming the best version of yourself.
  • Don’t sell yourself short, and don’t dim your light in order to make others shine.

I could go on and on, but duty calls.

2017 – Manifest your greatness!

 

 

Just for today…

04 Sunday Dec 2016

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In this moment, I’m thankful for:

* the grace to see another day

* laughter

*unconditional love

* authentic relationships

* chocolate on demand

* the space I get to call “me time”

* people/ situations who help me realise what I don’t want

* the fact that I choose not to settle

* the fact that I choose who to invite into my personal space

* the realisation that some bridges are meant to be burnt and never walked again

* letting go of someone once their part in your story is over – it’s all about reason, season, lifetime…

* every single lesson (no matter how bitter-sweet) that has gotten me to this point

* being blessed to be a blessing

As I continue to move forth with purpose and determination, let me never for one minute take the gift of each moment or freedom to choose for granted.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured xxx

 

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No masks here…

11 Friday Mar 2016

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This post is courtesy of a conversation I had with a dear friend yesterday. For purposes of this (and future posts) I shall refer to him as Positive Paul. We all need that one friend who can lift the band aid off in one go and after it’s done you still feel like you are walking on sunshine; for me, that person is Positive Paul.

This chat came about because I shared with him a comment I made to someone who I believed could’ve been a good friend. Sadly, that didn’t pan out as I had hoped and like I said to Positive Paul, the brief exchange, spurts of banter/laughter was appreciated while it lasted and certainly gave me a different perspective.

No regrets.

Only gratitude.

So through this experience I realised that I’m actually in a good space; a space where it’s tickets for anyone who doesn’t appreciate my time or worth. Life is way too short for one sided relationships (family, friends) or to pretend to be anything than your authentic self.

You see, quirks and all, Positive Paul reminded me that the people who are meant to be in my life will appreciate:

• my off-key singing
• random comments / messages
• “complicated” laugh (only he knows what that means)
• midnight ramblings
• over-thinking and analysis of a situation

I guess he has a point because when all is said and done:

• I give wholeheartedly
• I give freely
• I give without expectation
• I am fiercely loyal
• I am brutally honest
• I like to talk
• I care – too much
• I cry when someone is sad or in pain
• I am a hopeless romantic
• Yes, I am an all or nothing person… and make no apologies for it. Because, I’m worth it!

Let me leave you with words of wisdom from former president, Nelson Mandela: “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured xxx

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Purpose trumps pain!

30 Monday Nov 2015

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Happy Monday lovelies!

I’m super excited about sharing today’s post.
First, I’m going to start by saying to God be the glory, always.
When we truly surrender and allow the great I AM to take the lead, the results are completely humbling.

I had the honour of chatting to Author Lawanda Peters about her book Beauty for Ashes and couldn’t wait to upload it. This is what she had to say:

* When did you realise that you were going to write this book?
I realised I was going to write a book in 2000, when I was at my lowest. I’d lost *everything* I had – mentally (pretty much), financially, physically. I knew that someone else needed to hear my story; the abuse, failed marriages, rejection, self-esteem issues, etc. I wanted to be transparent and real with people, having seen so much in the church, the world, and family.

* How did the title come about?
The title of my book was given by the Holy Spirit. God spoke clearly to me as I cried out to Him one day; ‘why me’ and ‘how long will I go through this suffering’. And it was in that moment that He responded, “I’m giving you Beauty For Ashes. When you come out, you will not look like what you’ve gone through.”

* Tell us a bit more about this book…
Beauty For Ashes is part autobiography, and part encouragement and empowerment. I share my life in a very sensitive, but real way. As a girl from the South, I grew up on a 200 acre farm and we were a very close knit family. I witnessed abuse and alcoholism from an early age; processing what I know today as rejection or “black sheep” syndrome. All these experiences made me want to share so others could be delivered. In the book, I talk about how I endured physical as well as mental abuse and there’s also a part that explains how I almost lost my son at five months, due to abuse, I also talk about being homeless and going from having everything to losing it all. More importantly, you will see that it was through forgiveness and pure determination to press on and not lose hope that I am still able to stand. This book is more than just my life’s experiences – I share the Word that will help others break free and walk in their destiny.

* Is there a specific message that you would like readers to walk away with?
I would like for every reader to feel enlightened, empowered, and encouraged; knowing that it does not matter what comes your way, you are victorious, and you are an overcomer in Christ.

* Were there any surprising things or let’s say revelations while writing this book?
The revelations in writing this book were evident and very real. Everything I went through was first hand experiences. God has shown me many times that this book would reach millions and many would be delivered from abuse and so much more. He also showed me that it would be not only a book, but a play and a movie. I’m still standing on His word.

* What do you think makes this book different from others?
I would have to say it’s the authenticity! Many times we are taught not to be transparent (not to tell everything), but I was compelled to share in the rawest form ever. I had to let people know that just because you are where you are today, doesn’t mean you didn’t go through things or that you were perfect. He can take our mess and turn it into a message to bring healing to others. So the realness and transparency makes it different and captivating.

* Why should someone read it?
Because it’s not just me telling a story, it’s me sharing my life experiences. There’s no sugar coating, just truth… and this is what brings true healing and deliverance. So, if someone is dealing with, mental/physical abuse, rejection, low self-esteem, broken relationships, a failed marriage, homelessness, being on top and suddenly you’re at the bottom with nothing, asking what’s wrong with me?… after reading this both men and women will have a new outlook on things.

* Have you received feedback from readers?
I’ve received tons of messages from readers. I must say it has been overwhelming and humbling (thankful to God) to receive such powerful, motivating feedback. Many individuals were moved from the very first chapter. I was told by several readers, “Once I started reading your book, I couldn’t put it down.” And, I’ve cried with some, laughed with others, and celebrated with many. All glory belongs to our Father!

* Can we expect more books from you?
Yes, you can expect more books from me. I’m working on my Daily Inspirations book, which will have quotes to encourage and uplift you, daily. I’m also working on another book, Learning To Love You. I’m very excited about where God is taking me. I give him ALL glory, honor and praises.

* Any last thoughts you’d like to add…
I thank God, who truly directs and orders my steps, for all of the opportunities and doors that He has opened and is still opening. I thank you Woman of God for the opportunity, you are an angel sent from God to encourage, uplift and push others into their destiny.

Also, thank you to those who have purchased and supported Beauty For Ashes and LaWanda Peters Ministry. If you have not gotten a copy, please do, you will not be disappointed. It can be purchased at http://www.LaWandaPeters.com. Remember, your best is yet to come!

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured x

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A letter to a younger me…

19 Sunday Apr 2015

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Hey there!

The past few weeks have been wonderful. A roller-coaster ride of note.

The good kind though. You know the butterflies in your tummy kind of good. I wish I could explain it.

Let’s just say that it’s even better than the excitement you experience at Christmas or when you hear good news.

This feeling comes with an expectancy that only blind faith produces. You know *that* feeling?!

Anyhow, yesterday I got lost in my thoughts… wondering what I would tell my younger self. And this is what I jotted down:

Dear Younger Self,

You are enough. In fact, you are more than enough and will receive every good thing as and when it should happen.

Trust the process – let the Divine plan unfold as it should.

Don’t you dare for one minute compare your life or circumstances to anyone else. Do you hear me?

Life is not difficult and people are not complicated. It’s the way you choose to approach situations and people that matters and determines whether we view it as “good” or “bad”.

Looking for and holding onto the good in a situation and people does not mean that you are weak. Being passionate or crying at the drop of a hat is all okay. What some perceive to be naïveté in your approach to life is fine. That’s who you are.

You see, when the Lord created you and defined your purpose, the specs were designed for you and you alone. Not everyone will understand your journey and not everyone will be rooting for you (family included) and do you know what, that’s perfectly fine. You may feel let down and a tinge of disappointment but choose not to dwell on it for longer than a minute 😉

The gems (specific people) that have been strategically placed along your path are more than those set out to frustrate you. Besides, like my mentor says, your haters are your interns that work for free. Think about that for a minute…

You see younger self, the only person you need to please is God. He alone is the Author and Finisher of ALL things in this world; and He is the only One who can honestly stand in judgment of you. His love and grace is sufficient, cling to that!

So, wonderful person, as you navigate the course of life there will be defining moments, laughter, tears (lots of them), disappointments, celebrations and mourning. Embrace it all.

When all is said and done this is your story, this is your testimony and with God in the driving seat, you are guaranteed victory.

Stay true to yourself and strengthen your relationship with your Creator daily; it’s the one relationship you should guard fiercely. And for as long as this relationship is the foundation of all others you can’t go wrong; even your marriage should have God at the centre.

Be kind, be loving, be YOU.

From,
Your older (and through grace) wiser self!

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay favoured and fabulous x

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It’s your choice…

28 Sunday Dec 2014

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Over the last few days most of my conversations with friends and complete strangers was around forgiveness.

No, I’m not going to launch into some sermon, or tell you to pick up the phone blah blah blah. I’d like to encourage you to take some quiet time out for YOU, and during this time I hope you choose to do the following:

Forgive yourself.
Forgive yourself for poor choices.
Forgive yourself for a lapse in judgment.
Forgive yourself for what has happened in the past; some things are beyond your control.
Forgive yourself for being impatient.
Forgive yourself for snapping & firing off unkind words.
Forgive yourself for not taking a chance and choosing to stay in a comfort zone.
Forgive yourself for not being as generous as you hoped to be.
Forgive yourself for being grumpy.
Forgive yourself for trusting someone even though the red flags were right in front of you.
Forgive yourself for not walking away from a relationship or association before things went really sour.
Forgive yourself for making the same mistake twice.
Forgive yourself for holding on to anything or anyone that’s holding you back; make the break now.

You see, this is life… there’s no one size fits all approach. The important thing is to find what works for YOU.

We live. We learn. We grow. We share. We care. We rise. We stumble. We fall. We evolve.

Today, remind yourself:
This is my journey.
This is my story.
These are my choices.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay favoured and fabulous x

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It is what it is…

15 Monday Dec 2014

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With days to go before I get to see my immediate and extended family, I’m more excited than usual. This year it’s going to be different.

I’m waiting for them to throw their caustic comments under the guise of concern. I usually laugh it off or walk away. Not this year. This year they are going to get an earful;  whether it’s my aunts, cousins or long time family friends.

You see, at this time of the year the same script plays out. It’s so predictable that I know which are reserved for after dessert and which will come flying after someone has had too many glasses of G&T.

The comments are all the same and go along these lines:

Aunt 1: “Gaynor, have you met anyone yet? You are not getting any younger you know!”

Cousin1: “And so… is there anything you’d like to share?”

Family friend: “Gaynor, don’t you think you are being selfish… why would you deprive your mother of grandkids?”

This year there will be no flustered face. This year I will look them square in the face and respond; something I should have done a long time ago.

Rewind…

After matric (many, many moons ago) it looked like I was well on course with my plan. Take note, my plan. All the boxes were being ticked off one by one. Things really couldn’t get any better. Or, so I thought.

Working 18hour days, chasing the next big story, deadline or flying off somewhere was all part of an adrenaline rush I couldn’t live without. With each passing day the passion for my work intensified and nothing else mattered.

I had it all…. a wonderful job, loving and supportive family and friends. It was all I needed. My attempt at relationships fluctuated between total bliss and the possibility of a happy ever after but that was all until the grueling work schedule got in the way.

With hindsight, it was naïve of me to think that any man would want to take second place after a career. At the time I couldn’t see the missing link – work-life balance. So, one broken off engagement later and a serious bout of introspection, I’ve pondered: “Was it all worth it?”

***drum-roll***

Yes; because when all is said and done it’s really a matter of perspective.

So, what if I’ve missed all the “normal deadlines” that society imposes on us women? My appointed time to take the proverbial plunge and tie the knot and start a family is just a tad “delayed”. And I for one am not complaining.

My life’s journey and the lessons bagged along the way are incomparable. I’ve had my fair share of laughs, tears, heartache and a lot of other insane wobblies that made me feel like my heart would stop but you know what, I’m still standing (thanks to His grace) and all the more stronger if you ask me.

Every encounter, every interaction has been chalked down to experience and part of my character building. At times it felt like I was being panel-beated into shape but that’s the way my story was written and I’ve made a mental note to embrace it.

There were days I wished this journey was set on cruise control. It wasn’t. That’s not life. We stumble. We fall. We hibernate. We rise. We get up hopeful that the sun will rise and new possibilities lay ahead because God is the Pilot of our lives.

Let me encourage someone… if you’ve been one of those people caught up in what, when, where and how the world says you must live then I got news for you. You are uniquely designed and have your own spec so don’t allow society to dictate the pace at which your story unfolds. More importantly, drop all the different masks and just be your authentic self. The people that matter will accept you and love you for you. Even if, like me, you have a bout of OCD and can’t stop yourself from tidying tables in a restaurant 🙂

Live. Love. Laugh. But most of all never cease to be grateful for the path you walk.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured x