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Learnt from Lockdown 2

09 Sunday Aug 2020

Posted by Gaynor Kast in Uncategorized

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COVID-19, faith, family, grace, gratitude, Lessons learnt, life, Lockdown, Mother, Obedience, perspective, praise, Prayer, purpose, siblings, time, Worship

You will remember in my previous post, I mentioned that my mother was visiting so I wasn’t alone for the first part of our lockdown. Although I was working from home, literally around the clock, just knowing that she was here offered a degree of safety and security. Just the way a mother’s love can.

But, after a month she wanted to return to her home and my delaying tactics were not the strongest. I eventually took her back and then we were hit for a six. She had the most horrific health scare and ended up in the hospital; for the sake of her privacy, I will not go into detail suffice to say it was touch and go.

It was a time that my siblings and I can laugh about now because of how we all deal with stress and trauma, but at that time it was far from a comedy scene.

Fast forward to me returning to my place.

I was happy to be in my space and surrounded by all my comforts. But for the first time in a long time, I realised that I now longer wanted to live alone. I wrestled with God about this every other day. But then one day in my quiet time I realised that no amount of temper tantrums or irrational reasoning was going to force God’s hand in my life.

We know that His time and His plans are perfect. Like we read in Ecclesiastes, there’s a time for everything under the sun; and I’m not immune to these seasons. Yes, there’s free will but for as long as there’s grace to walk in complete obedience, that’s my choice.

I concede that while I completely understand all of this, I still have the odd moment when I ask “But why God?” And it wasn’t until very recently that I realised that instead of despising this current season of my life, I need to appreciate and make the most of it.

And it was only after this acceptance that I found the solitude and time in prayer, praise and worship priceless.

I could easily list reasons of how this pandemic has ripped the rug from beneath our feet, but, there’s one thing it has done that no money could buy. It drew us back to and closer to God. It put the daily grind on pause for us to recalibrate and decide on the kind of relationship we want to have with our Father. The kind that sees us speaking and listening to Him as freely and easily as we breathe; or one where we speak to Him when we are in trouble or “need” something.

And so, as we continue to take it one day at a time, allow me to encourage you to look for that rainbow. Draw from the wells of His word that offers boundless hope. And be present (taking social distancing into account) in the lives of those near and dear to you… even if it’s through voice notes and face time calls.

Keep the faith.

Keep safe.

Learnt from Lockdown

08 Saturday Aug 2020

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baby, COVID-19, family, hope, life, Lockdown, love, pandemic, promise, South Africa, thankful

When the rumblings of the COVID-19 pandemic started making its way into our lives via various media channels, it was hard to ignore. Then the heart-breaking and often horrendous stories linked to it were a lot to digest on any given day.

And still, I went about life fluctuating between a degree of calm and peace and sudden anxiety – always weaving their way into what was until then a relatively measured life. It was not until President Cyril Ramaphosa (South Africa) declared a three week lockdown period that I was suddenly gripped by fear and rolled into survival mode instinctively.

For someone who loves mapping things out, setting and meeting deadlines and steering the charted course, the start of the lockdown was difficult. I remember rushing into the supermarket before the lockdown kicked in and although I had a list of essentials to buy, when confronted with all those aisles of groceries and toiletries i went into a flat spin.

The neatly typed out list was deleted and I found myself throwing things into the trolley that I would not ordinarily buy because I was hit with the “what if…” thought. What if the lockdown is extended? What if supermarkets don’t open for the longest time? What if I run out of x, y, z?

Looking back now, I can’t believe I was “that” shopper. *Hides*

The other thing, as someone who enjoys her own space, it was the first time I was super thankful for having company in the form of my mother.

The reason she was visiting is because four days before the lockdown my brother and his wife welcomed the most precious baby boy into the world. Connor Luke Kast made his grand appearance at a time where things like chaos, confusion, fears, anxiety and depression were slowly but wilfully starting to wrap itself around our nation.

We had a Heaven sent antidote.

They say that a baby is a blessing and while I believe it, it wasn’t until Connor came into our lives that I fully grasped the real meaning of that comment. I desperately want to paint a picture of how I felt when my eyes spotted him for the first time, but, words will not adequately describe the pure joy. I never thought I could love another human the way I love my nephew. My heart literally feels like it’s exploding at the thought of him.

He is perfect. He is ours to love and nurture. He is without doubt our biggest blessing.

We got to see Connor in person very briefly but those moments are deeply imprinted in my heart.

We depend on pictures, videos and face time calls to bond with him. Not ideal but what can we do?! Bias aside, on the days when I feel like I’m going to drown with heaviness and despair (oh yes, I too have my down days) the thought of Connor gives me an instant boost of hope. A hope and a promise that just like the sun rises and sets each day, so too will this pandemic end.

When it will end we don’t know. But, what I do know is that we can and must keep hope alive… for ourselves and for Connor’s generation and those after.

Remain hopeful.

Remain thankful.

Choose your circle carefully!

28 Saturday Dec 2019

Posted by Gaynor Kast in Uncategorized

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blessings, Boundaries, choices, courage, decisions, honesty, Inner circle, integrity, journey, kindness, life, lifetime, love, peace, people, reason, season, truth

I hope YOU choose to enter the new year, new decade with endless faith, oodles of optimism and most importantly, the right inner circle.

If this last year has taught me anything, boundaries are more critical than you know. Choosing to have boundaries simply means that YOU choose to be surrounded by people who share your outlook, share a similar approach and refuse to compromise core fundamentals – like the truth, honesty, integrity, compassion, kindness and love.

As we chart through various stages of life, we meet so many people along the way. Some of them come into our lives for a reason, season (painful and expensive lessons in some instances) and lifetime.

The key is to discern an individual’s role in your journey; and embrace and accept the role he/she is meant to fulfil for the said period. The fact is that holding on when a reason or season is over brings with it unnecessary frustration, hurt and pain so let go when you ought to.

All relationships should evolve (and dissolve) organically. Period. #youllcatchthatinaminute

With 2019 about to come to an end, let us make a conscious choice to refrain from taking the same “mistakes” into a new decade. There’s still time to do a thorough “spring clean”.

Your choices and decisions should be based on what’s best for YOU.

For your journey.

For your peace of mind.

With a new year. With a new decade. We get to make better choices. We get to put ourselves first. We get to stop pretending. We get to stop keeping up appearances. We get to be the voice that keeps it REAL 24/7.

My wish for you: may YOU never sacrifice your peace of mind and mental health to please anyone. Be true to YOU and always choose to have the courage of your convictions, even if you are standing alone. And never ever allow any person to disrespect you… cut your losses and walk away.

The right people will appreciate and love you unconditionally.

Blessings, love and perfect peace to you, always in 2020!

We need each other…

19 Tuesday Nov 2019

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2020, chocolate, choices, comfort zone, Emotioal, fabulous, family, Friends, Health, heart, life, love, mind, Neighbours, New decade, new year, No regrets, peace, Rain, Rest, Social, Soup, Speak, Sunshine, TLC, Wellness

Since last week I’ve been house bound. Not out of choice, I must point out. I traipsed off to the office on Monday morning choosing to ignore the fact that I felt a little under the weather and was minus a voice. Oh the horror of not being able to speak; and some of my colleagues were finding this a delightful site to behold.

Long story short, one look at me and our medical team were mortified at the fact that I drove to the office instead of “calling” (read: text or mail) in sick. I tried to offer some sort of defense about it being a Monday blah-blah-blah but they were not interested. Instead, they armed me with the relevant meds, read me the riot (read: wellness act) and sent me on my way.

Chicken soup. Check.

Water. Check.

Fruit. Check.

Chocolate. Check.

Meds. Check.

I was ready for a week of “solitary confinement” and as someone who hardly ever gets sick, I figured this flu/laryngitis wouldn’t last more than three days. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong.

My body felt like it was being panel-beated and I just couldn’t break a stubborn fever. At that point my life seemed like it was a scene from Bridget Jones’s Diary. I couldn’t call anyone (the joys of being a migrant worker). I contemplated texting my neighbour to drive me to the ER but decided against this for two reasons: apart from an initial introduction and one other time I texted to apologise for triggering the alarm, we hadn’t really spoken. So imagine now asking him to be my personal uber? Even my feverish self knew this was a bad idea….

At the first glimpse of daylight, I drove to my GP and she confirmed it was no longer the flu but bronchitis. The good news was that the fever broke, I was given a much stronger antibiotic and my voice had returned but she warned me to “take it easy” because I wasn’t out of the woods just yet.

What’s the point of this post?

The aha-moment was this: words whether spoken, written or unsaid are equally important and define (positively/negatively) our lives more than we realise. More than that, we are emotional and social beings who need each other.

With a new year, a new decade mere days away, may we always choose to open our hearts and mouths… and always choose to express ourselves. That way we will have no regrets, no unanswered questions, lingering thoughts or feel like we can’t reach out for help when we need it most. After all, life is about stepping beyond the confines of our comfort zones and having the courage to speak up and reach out…

I think I’ve said this in a previous post, the reality is that no person is an island… we all need each other in one way or another; rain or shine.

Take care and stay fabulous….

Rebound and recover…

30 Saturday Mar 2019

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direction, faith, family, forgiveness, Friends, God, grace, Heal, heart, introspection, lessons, life, love, mercy, Prayer, purpose, Refection, time

I’m writing this post from the place I visited exactly two years ago. The view remains spectacular with a few extra “nice to see” things and my life has done a complete 360 in every possible way.

For those who read this blog, you would recall the plan was to take a one year sabbatical and then allow life to unfold. Well, the one year sabbatical did happen, just not the way I had envisaged. And the year that followed was anything but a stroll in the park.

As I reflect on the last two years, I don’t believe I can adequately describe the intensity of the challenges that knocked on my door. But, what I do know with every fibre of confidence is that God remains faithful.

When I tell you that I had no idea life could two feet you (it’s a Sydenham saying) and bring you to your knees… it can. It’s not pretty and it’s certainly painful at the “best” of times. I was tried and tested from every possible position but had the grace to press on because I knew that God remains faithful.

I am also extremely blessed to have a solid group of faith-filled women and men to support me unconditionally. They know who they are and to respect their privacy I will not mention their names. But, there is one woman who I believe is a complete angel on earth and who took me under her wing and wiped my tears and prayed me through the most dire times – Aunty Karen Wallace. She is more than amazing. She certainly epitomises God’s love and compassion. And has without doubt secured a special place in my heart.

I’m all about being fearlessly authentic, and when I say there were times I felt like I could not go on, that every ounce of my strength was depleted and the will to live was running on empty, but between God and aunty Karen, I’m alive and energised to continue walking on purpose.

And so, if at any point you find yourself at a place where you feel hopeless.

A place where you feel completely lost.

A place you where feel like a drifting yacht on a rough sea.

A place where you feel like nothing makes sense anymore.

A place where you feel like your heart has been ripped apart.

A place where you feel like you don’t want to open your eyes to face another day.

Know this… God has a plan. God is in complete control. God has your back. He created YOU with a specific purpose and all He expects is unwavering faith and complete obedience (no matter what the circumstances). He does not need you and I to help Him unfold the plan He designed perfectly and with the right time-frames. Just place your hope and trust in Him.

There were many lessons I’ve jotted down over the last 24months, one of the more crucial ones was to pay attention to the people who are willing to stand in the ring and take the punches with you; those real people (not the fair-weather types) who hold your head up and keep you standing and smiling.

Most importantly, don’t fight the separation process. We know that some people are only meant to be in our lives for a reason, season and lifetime. Holding onto someone whose expiration date has come and gone will cause more chaos and distraction. Again, just trust God’s lead.

And finally, it’s perfectly fine to release (forgive) and love some people (family included) from a distance. Anything or anyone that threatens or obstructs your peace and Divine purpose has no place in your life.

If you are reading this post and find yourself in need of encouragement, allow me to suggest that you pour your heart out to God… be still enough to listen to His voice (yes, He still speaks) and hold onto your faith like never before.

And once you’ve allowed yourself to heal, stand up boldly and go out there and rise and thrive… because God can and will always be the anchor, compass and all-round Navigator you need at any given moment.

Love. Love. And more love coupled with equal portions of boundless faith, grace and mercy be yours this day and always!

Stop. Pause. Press on…

28 Thursday Jun 2018

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fabulous, faith, favoured, Fearlessly authentic, Intentional, learn, lessons, life, Live, love, perspective, Press on, purpose, Romans 8:28, South Africa, time

There are moments when it feels like life is coming at you, fast and hard.
And it’s at these times that you need your faith to be rock solid; and more importantly, you need to be surrounded by fearlessly authentic people.

What you don’t want is a fence-sitter or someone who suffers from delusions of grandeur, on your side.
Be around people whose motives are clean and clear, whose reputations are impeccable and not afraid to stand for the truth. Not their “truth” but the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

To paraphrase Tera Carissa-Hodges, when the lies, slander, backstabbing, plotting and planning happens, don’t lose focus because those intentional acts are all part of the purpose.

Painful as the lessons may be, the “tables have turned”.
Trust the process and trust that God alone still has the final say.

So, if you find yourself at a crossroads, we have a saying here in South Africa – vasbyt.
It simply means, press on… and hold onto Romans 8:28.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured xxx

Love wins the day…

04 Friday May 2018

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Challenge, choose, compassion, fabulous, favoured, Focus, grow, Headlines, heart, Humanity, kindness, learn, life, Live, love, Morning, purpose, Serve, share, Sow, Speak, thank you, Think, time, unconditional love

I woke up with a song in my heart. It’s a golden oldie but the words ring true today, more than ever.

Some of the lyrics: “What the world needs now, is love, sweet love… it’s the only thing, that there’s just too little of…”

The ghastly headlines, the atrocious stories of inhumanity, hurt and hate, and all-round anger seems to be the order of the day. But… why?

Where have we gone wrong?

Why are people triggered so easily?

What is missing?

Can we find our way again?

Can one person make a difference?

These are some of the questions I contemplated.

It appears we lost our way when we lost our ability to love – and when I speak about love, I mean unconditional love.

It appears we are missing that all important fundamental that we are all born with – compassion; having a heart for others.

It appears we have become complacent and happy to focus on our own needs and those within our sphere.

It appears we have taken our eye off the goal – the purpose of walking and serving in love.

It appears that we have allowed ourselves to be swept up in all that is unkind, cruel and selfish.

But…

All is not lost.
We can find our way again, if we choose to look within and allow the seeds of love to spring forth.

I’d like to challenge you.
When life chooses to distort the canvass of (y)our world, I hope you will always choose to sow seeds of love; and not just any love… unconditional love.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured xxx

While you are waiting…

27 Tuesday Feb 2018

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choices, Durban, encourage, Focus, God, hope, life, love, moment, Nature, peace, Praying, purpose, Sea, seasons, Serenity, smile, thank you, Thinking, Waiting, Water, Waves

 

 

When I woke up yesterday, I had no idea how my day would pan out. Usually, there’s some sort of “plan”… so if I need to tweak it here and there, it can be done without any hassle.

But, I found myself driving to the beachfront. There’s been tons going on around me – some matters less complicated than others but still enough to rattle the free flow of this thing we call life.

It was only when I pulled up into a parking bay, that it dawned on me that I’m doing something so out of character. I smiled and reminded myself that I’m not a robot and so it’s okay that I get to choose to be present. That it’s okay that I do whatever it is that makes sense to me in that given moment. As long as I’m not inflicting hurt or pain on another, it’s perfectly fine.

It was a beautiful, balmy day in Durban and apart from the odd cyclist, jogger or couple on a walkabout, it was still. The kind of day that felt like it was ready to wrap its arms around my exhausted soul.

The smell of the ocean and soothing sounds of the waves made me feel like this specific piece of paradise was created just for me. I closed my eyes for a few minutes in pure gratitude. And through the salty tears, all I kept hearing was a gentle voice, whispering “be still and know that I am God”.

I smiled.
Blinked.
Looked around.
Smiled again.
In that moment, I knew what that meant.

It was in that moment that I found peace. Again.

Added to this was a fishing rod that I spotted. My eyes were fixed on that rod.
What was it about that fishing rod? It’s not like it was the first time I had ever seen a rod.

In that moment I realised that when we are in a waiting season – or transitional phase – it’s important to stay anchored to our true and Sovereign source of hope and life, God.

If you are reading this, and find yourself in an in-between phase in your life, I’d like to encourage you.

Don’t give up. Don’t you dare contemplate quitting. The tables will turn.

Stay true to your purpose.
Stay true to your core values.
Stay true to living in love and hope.
Stay true to the Rock of your salvation.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

A heart of gold…

03 Saturday Feb 2018

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Age, authenticity, Divine Connections, Gold, grace, gratitude, heart, honesty, kindness, lessons, life, love, purpose, Real people, relationships, wisdom

It’s been like forever since I’ve posted. And not for a lack of trying, I must add. My sabbatical (January-December 2017) was nothing that I had envisaged. It was one of the busiest and most fulfilling times. Ever.

I learnt. I cried. I smiled. I sighed. I loved. I lost… but through it all, I experienced and am most thankful for His immeasurable grace upon my life.

I met some of the most amazing people and some not-so-pleasant “characters”. There are lessons I hope to never repeat. Some opened my eyes and left me gasping in utter horror (because there are some things you just don’t expect from human beings…), while others showed me what unconditional love is all about.

In all of the living and learning, there was one person who crept into my heart… almost instantly. It was one of those connections that you know, that you know, it has to be a Divine connection.

In an age where superficiality is the order of the day, it’s so refreshing to find someone who is super real. No mask. No highlight real. Just the core of what an honest, good old fashion, genuine person is all about.

Yes, these precious treasures still exist.

A caring, kind, delightful, witty person. No airs and graces, just a beautiful soul… inside and out. A heart of gold.

It’s the kind of relationship that you want to freeze just so that time can stand still as you savour the moments. Those moments that are filled with frank comments and quirks that leave you holding your sides because you can’t stop laughing. Those moments that you don’t want to end because in that time… you appreciate and cherish the authenticity of an individual like aunty Erica; a 60-something lady whose life experiences are as fascinating as the anecdotes she enjoys sharing.

A few months ago, this was a complete stranger and today, she’s someone I can’t imagine not having in my life. I always look forward to spending time with her and most of all her “Erica-isms” … given the chance she could easily give some of the best stand ups a run for their money. Her chirps are really out of this world, and she’s quick off the mark. And then there’s her vault of wisdom.

I hope you too will get to meet amazing gems like aunty Erica, and when you do, don’t let them go…

heartofgold2.png

 

The luxury of simplicity…

10 Friday Mar 2017

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Tags

Baggage, Blessing, brother, caring, change, fabulous, family, favoured, friendship, gratitude, journey, life, Moving, Pay it forward, perspective, purpose, Sabbatical, Simplicity, Spring clean, thankful, time, Travelling

I like open, uncluttered spaces.

I don’t hoard (thankfully) and spring clean every now and then to make sure I only have what I need at that point in time.

With my last house move, I promised myself that that would be the last time. Well, that wasn’t to be and a few weeks ago, I found myself packing up and moving. Again.

After much thought, I decided to take a sabbatical. In terms of the time factor, well that’s a post for another day.

Back  to the move…

With my previous house moves, I had my bff also known as my brother, Jarryd Kast, on hand to help (read: do most of the work). This time it was just me and my helper, Hazel. Now, if ever there was an angel on earth, Hazel would be that person.

Where Jarryd would take the lead and ensure all the ducks were in a row, this time round Hazel fulfilled that role. Super organised and super efficient is an understatement. The actual day of the move, we got moving bright and early which allowed me time to have lunch with a very dear friend, before I hit the road.

This move made me realise…

Half the stuff we have is hardly ever utilised regularly (if at all) and we realise this only when it’s time to move. I found a blender, pasta maker, a blouse and a jacket, all with price tags still on.  What a complete waste… that was until, I decided these items would be better off elsewhere. And that’s how “operation give-away” unfolded.

I gave away most things and kept just a few necessities. Of course my mother thought I had lost the plot and asked if I was smoking something. The truth is, I don’t know how long this sabbatical is going to be and my thinking is why hold on to things that another family a) needs and b) would make better use of.

So, with the few belongings I chose to keep tucked away in storage, I feel light. I don’t have that nagging feeling about what if the lounge suite, fridge, microwave, kettle, toaster, iron breaks or is no longer working when this sabbatical is over. I know that the family that was blessed with these things are happier and these items are making everyday life that much more comfortable for them.

The other bonus is that when it’s time to take that next step, I’ll be travelling light. Who needs excess baggage anyway?!

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured xxx

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