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With days to go before I get to see my immediate and extended family, I’m more excited than usual. This year it’s going to be different.

I’m waiting for them to throw their caustic comments under the guise of concern. I usually laugh it off or walk away. Not this year. This year they are going to get an earful;  whether it’s my aunts, cousins or long time family friends.

You see, at this time of the year the same script plays out. It’s so predictable that I know which are reserved for after dessert and which will come flying after someone has had too many glasses of G&T.

The comments are all the same and go along these lines:

Aunt 1: “Gaynor, have you met anyone yet? You are not getting any younger you know!”

Cousin1: “And so… is there anything you’d like to share?”

Family friend: “Gaynor, don’t you think you are being selfish… why would you deprive your mother of grandkids?”

This year there will be no flustered face. This year I will look them square in the face and respond; something I should have done a long time ago.


After matric (many, many moons ago) it looked like I was well on course with my plan. Take note, my plan. All the boxes were being ticked off one by one. Things really couldn’t get any better. Or, so I thought.

Working 18hour days, chasing the next big story, deadline or flying off somewhere was all part of an adrenaline rush I couldn’t live without. With each passing day the passion for my work intensified and nothing else mattered.

I had it all…. a wonderful job, loving and supportive family and friends. It was all I needed. My attempt at relationships fluctuated between total bliss and the possibility of a happy ever after but that was all until the grueling work schedule got in the way.

With hindsight, it was naïve of me to think that any man would want to take second place after a career. At the time I couldn’t see the missing link – work-life balance. So, one broken off engagement later and a serious bout of introspection, I’ve pondered: “Was it all worth it?”


Yes; because when all is said and done it’s really a matter of perspective.

So, what if I’ve missed all the “normal deadlines” that society imposes on us women? My appointed time to take the proverbial plunge and tie the knot and start a family is just a tad “delayed”. And I for one am not complaining.

My life’s journey and the lessons bagged along the way are incomparable. I’ve had my fair share of laughs, tears, heartache and a lot of other insane wobblies that made me feel like my heart would stop but you know what, I’m still standing (thanks to His grace) and all the more stronger if you ask me.

Every encounter, every interaction has been chalked down to experience and part of my character building. At times it felt like I was being panel-beated into shape but that’s the way my story was written and I’ve made a mental note to embrace it.

There were days I wished this journey was set on cruise control. It wasn’t. That’s not life. We stumble. We fall. We hibernate. We rise. We get up hopeful that the sun will rise and new possibilities lay ahead because God is the Pilot of our lives.

Let me encourage someone… if you’ve been one of those people caught up in what, when, where and how the world says you must live then I got news for you. You are uniquely designed and have your own spec so don’t allow society to dictate the pace at which your story unfolds. More importantly, drop all the different masks and just be your authentic self. The people that matter will accept you and love you for you. Even if, like me, you have a bout of OCD and can’t stop yourself from tidying tables in a restaurant 🙂

Live. Love. Laugh. But most of all never cease to be grateful for the path you walk.

Thank you for taking the time to read.

Stay fabulous and favoured x